Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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