do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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