Don't you send me to vm
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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