On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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