she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
