How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
