drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
