Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
