Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Drunk is not a location!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
