you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
