My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize