There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
i think my cat just said my name.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
