You really coming over, don't trick.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Randomize
