dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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