so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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