I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
