She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
