Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
