You smell like stripper and shame
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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