what if every blade of grass was a penis?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
