i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
