I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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