so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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