This is not my ceiling
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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