I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize
