Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
