Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
