Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
