i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
