no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
