had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
We are two peas in an std pod
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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