3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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