Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
