omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
