listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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