well most of my day revolves around power hour
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
