My friends, they love my intelligence
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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