It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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