READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
