How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
