I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
My vagina just recognized that song.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize