So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
it's like heaven, but drunker
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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