so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
