Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
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