apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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