I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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