oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
