Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
