That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
