Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
The best walk of shames are on the highway
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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