Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
