I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
