You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
